Brave or stupid?

Donathen my love,
I am posting these personal feelings on the web. I hesitated because these thoughts are so very private. But there are not a lot of posts about grief that I could find that was specific to losing a past love, a present love, and a very best friend and supporter. I cannot explain our relationship. You know how it was at the hospital. I was, "the wife", "the proxy", "the girlfriend". You were "the ex", "the husband" "the boyfriend".  It was impossible to get the right word because we were so many things to one another.  Sometimes words do not explain, no matter how hard you try. I hope you are not upset with me about posting this blog so that anyone can see it. I may put it back to private again, I am unsure. So, for now I am brave and maybe stupid. I can live with that.