Avalanche

Donathen my love,
I am in an avalanche of grief. The could haves , the would haves, the should haves....I keep wanting. I know it is pointless. Useless. Still. I know that mainly we did our very best.And what we had no avalanche can destroy. Our earth time together ran out. I am standing at the edge of this road, and I am looking into the distance, and all I see are miles and miles of emptiness. It's an avalanche of grief.It's a road that stretches on and on without you. It is the gasp in in my chest. It's the sob that wails out and is raw- child-like. The sobs come in avalanches. I cannot see. The tears are rivers.  Then it all-just  stops. It is shocking how fast you went. It just doesn't even seem possible. Only a month or so ago....we were here on earth together and now, we are not. You are somewhere and I am still here. The reality of this has me sobbing in avalanches  and there is no lasting comfort. My loneliness without you is an avalanche and the hole in my soul cannot be bargained with.