shock

Donathen my love,
I must be in shock. I cannot believe you are really dead. I know you are, but it is shocking. It is
incomprehensible how you could have died. It's as if the entire year was a dream, and now I am
waking up, and realizing that it was actually not a dream. I know it makes no sense. I just have
this feeling that what we imagine reality to be, is not so. How can you be gone? How can it be?
There is no one in this world who is you. There is no one here that understands me like you. There is no one here who can share my day, like you. And you are not here. I can't believe it. So, I wander in a state through my day. Like shock. No anger, no pain, no sadness, just shock. I just can't believe it. Yet, I know it is true.