Miracle

Donathen my love,
I am a living miracle because of your love. There is so much impermanence.
What is permanent is the love we share even beyond the body, beyond time. Without this special love we have,  I know that I would not be here today. I would have had nothing to buoy me up from life's injustices in my every day existence then but I did have you.

Tireless, unwavering, always seeming to believe (even if you didn't) in my capabiltes, my strengths, my talents, and never showing me your fear. Perhaps if you had showed me your fear I would have gotten the message sooner, but perhaps not. You will always be mine. You are the man who will be forever in my heart and soul as my one true friend, love, and pal. No one replaces you. You are an original. A miracle too.

My love for you has not diminished; if anything, it is stronger. I reflect back. I reflect forward. I have you with me in any given present moment ,now. We are connected and will always be connected. Maybe we have been connected for many lives.  My pea in a pod-my soul mate- how I love you so! How I miss you!

I live on as a testament to your hard work and your faith. 5 years without a drink! Only God and you, can claim handiwork for that!

Birthday

Donathen my love,
I had a wonderful birthday and I know you were there as well. I saw beautiful sunrises and sunsets, I saw the stars spread across the black sky, like thousands of diamonds on velvet, and felt you watching. Or, at least I wished you were watching. I wished you were there with me. I did feel sad. I felt my love go out to you across the universe. I felt my deepest wishes wrap their arms around you and felt the shock of your absence. Still, I know you are proud. Look what you did my love! You got me to 50! No one would have believed it. But it was you. And God. Together you and HE gave me the gift of life. Thank you my dearest, my love, my soul mate. Thank you for never giving up on me. For having faith even when I did not. Thank you for my life my sweetheart. Without you, I would not be here. I wish  that next time around, you get to be with my friends and myself on my 50th. So, I am putting it out there. I keep the possibility open.
At the very least, I wish you 10 more years with me on earth and at the most---always with me on earth.
I wish our love always holds us together.