Bad

Donathen, my love...Our relationship was so multi-faceted. So many things to each other.
I know you had other relationships, and for a while there, I just didn't care. I didn't care because you were going through something and I was going through something. We had to do the seperate path thing, I know you understood. It was painful for both of us but we both began to really be more of who we were individually. I looked through emails of yours, and I got a bit jealous. Then, I felt sorry. But I was jealous of what I imagined.There is no reality to my feelings. It is all in my head.
In reality, the man that I was with for the last 5 months, was a different man. A man of substance, and growth, of love, and light. You were luminescent. I don't want to be jealous, and re-hash old feelings that have nothing to do with reality.
It is me who is still seeking and searching to heal all the wounds of my past. These gripping fears have nothing to do with you. You brought them out once. And that was a long, long time ago.
That is not what we ended with. So, I let go of all unecessary pain. I let go of all unnecessary pain because there is real pain now and it has nothing to do with anything negative. It is the pain in myself that was once you. It is the pain that is dull and in the background now, but ever present.
It is an empty space. The empty space had you in it. Now there is loss and the memory of you.
Several people have said that you came to them. That they saw you. I want to see you. I think. No, maybe not. I have felt you. I have felt your being next to me. I want you to let go....Let go.