It's 5 days since you left. 5 days since my heart broke. 5 days. I am numb today. The pain rests
right above the surface, it's a cry and a wailing that is deep within. It will not leave me.
I don't want to cry anymore. I hurt all over. I am hungry but I don't eat. I am sleepy but I don't lay down. I walk from room to room, not knowing where to go. The last 4 days seem to have gone by in a blur. I talked too much. I went through your phone to call people to tell them-you would not be there to pick up messages.I found 2 funny videos of you on there. One when you first got diagnosed. You said into the camera- "It ain't worth it, if you're uptight." You made me smile.
Then, the second video was of me filming you overseas. I play that before I go to bed at night.
I sleep with your jacket and sweatshirt. I wear your jewelry. I smell your clothes to catch you somewhere in them. I found a lock of your hair and I smell that and press it to my face.
Donathen my love,
You are my soul. You are my heart. No matter where you are, that doesnt' change. It will never change.
I love you.
"G"
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