Ways of Dying

Donathen my love,
You must know that Bill died right after you did. And I spoke to K about it and she told me all of the details which were terrible. I am so glad for your sake that you did not suffer as Bill did. I am so happy and grateful that your suffering was not long and arduous, not darkened by the disease of addiction. I feel terrible for Bill, and all addicts who die at the hands of a disease that can not be contained. Dying of alcoholism is absolutely one of the slowest, most terrible ways to die. And a cirrhotic liver is an agonizing way to go. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I am sad for K. and J. as I know you must be. And obviously for Bill who didn't get it. So, I do take comfort in knowing that for you,death was somewhat fast, and somewhat like breathing in and out, and then not. This does give me comfort. This does ease my soul. When I saw your body, you were not there. It was so obvious. Just a shell. No longer encasing you. No longer animating that beautiful body. My beautiful, beautiful man. No you were no longer in the building. That was clear. I love you my darling. I love you beyond measure.